Sunday, November 7, 2010

Retail Detail

Feeling like you're being passed up for any infinitesimal tiny bit of pseudo-promotion in thy field? You must be in the retail industry!

You must be a RETAIL DETAIL! (Which is still better than being a mere retail ITEM, mind you; one that gets manhandled, thrown to a corner, trampled upon, discounted before winding up, dejected, in a heap pile - but that is an entirely different story!)

Everyone is replaceable (e.g. expendable) in the whole frigging chain - everyone! From the littlest associate to the wretched CEO...!

And all are accountable too - of course!

I just paused the other day and observed the surroundings' cast of characters - and, boy, are they all characters indeed...!

Associate Fifi riding down the main store aisle on a shopping cart like an overgrown child, going "wheeeeeeeee" all the way (giving the patrons' kids the wrongest of examples in the process...!)

Supervisor-For-Hire Ralphie spending all her time chatting on the sales floor (with a customer - an intimate acquaintance type of customer - AND another supervisor, less-than-super...) while others are slaving away... Both of the are thus giving the wrongest of examples too; even wronger than Ralphie's direct underling, Fifi... As if Ralphie is not doing it supremely well enough with her customized mobile-desk-on-a-cart (a small removable shelf attached to a shopping cart so that Madame can write on it, keep her crap and never have to clean it up! Indeed, she just leaves all sorts of junk in the bottom of said cart which is then always stationed in everyone's way in the backstore; this when all other associates are told to never leave a single cart around in the backstore. Her cart has the shelf permanently attached to it, too - so it will never be removed and made accessible to customers ever again. And to add insult to injury, she herself would point out the others' carts, in her "quality" of (considerably-less-than-super) supervisor, even though any other cart forgotten backstage was without an attached shelf on top of it - and much less crap in it too! The only such cart ever left back there is indeed HERS! With the blessing of the other less-than-super supervisor - and the actual management as well. These peeps never believed in leading by example, obviously. But I am digressing right now...)

Associate Jo-Anne - always allowed to talk to as many customers as she wants and possibly can within the limited number of hours that she gets each and every week to do so - while being paid to do some kind of work, of course.

Associate Carlatt - never asked to come in earlier than she does, never asked to stay a minute extra - NEVER bothered with menial tasks such as "facing" or "defacing" or whatever it is that they want (who knows, anymore...!!!)

Associate Abe - hand-picked to replace a jerk, when the company policy is supposed to be all about "growing and promoting from within"... Ralphie was also brought in that way, of course...

All these peeps, and probably more waiting in the wings, can and will bypass the honest worker without much ambition that merely does what he is told, helps out where he is needed and is, in effect, by doing so... a mere retail detail.

:-\












Saturday, October 9, 2010

Those Are The Customers I Know...

I Know... Those Are The Customers I Loathe!!

(Parody of a song by the equally... ah... challenged - that's the word - Kids In The Hall; they also hung out at the mall and store when they were not stuck in the hall - I bet!!!)

Those are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE
These are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE!

Vandals and shoplifters
They sure don't respect the store
They've come nonetheless since the opening
We'll probably let them come for more...?!?

Those are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE
These are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE!

Retirees who got nothing else to do
And preening teens skipping classes
They keep on pestering you
My God they have got no class!

Those are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE
These are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I ABHOR!

Constant flocks of immigrants
who do not know either of the official languages
Problem is they feel right at home -
our cashiers are all like them!

Those are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE
These are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I DETEST!

The damnable bargain chasers
they think prices are negociable
This damn place is a retail store
Not a damn flea market!

Those are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE
These are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I CAN'T STAND!

Defacers and vagabonds -
all they want is to make a mess
They want our store to resemble their pigsty so much
that they stay from noon until six!

Those are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE
These are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE!

Those are the customers he knows, he knows
These are the customers HE LOATHES
These are the customers he loathes, he loathes
These are the customers HE LOATHES!

Some of them have cash on them
others simply don't
All of them want things to be dirt cheap
all of them are blasted wretches!

Those are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE
These are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE!


Et les voici
And here they are:















And since we are all in a musical mood - take it away, disgruntled employees numbers 48 through 62...!  (This is another instant classic that somehow incorporates Wal-Mart and K-Mart as well!)





Meanwhile on the lowest stage of them all...





Cash flow is flowing at a very slow pace, that is why, you know - everything else has to be *fastly* done and dealt with, but not the cash flow - that has to be SLOW.
 And then there is not enough to go around... ugh!





And all that money saved goes to a good cause...





And then - such is their reward





:~/




Nota Bene: well, then - since the days of G.T. seem to be numbered, one will explore, next, the whereabouts of the great seller's bear reportedly extinct circa 1999. And, up next, on the very next post on this very blog, a detailed blow-by-blow account of what exactly transpired in that Triple Threat -no treat- match when Marvelous Wally took on The Big K and É-Coeur-Ant... not in the UFCW but in the ISW - Inter Species Wrestling! A true Canadian organization; hence the presence of the two official languages!
Stay Tuned for that one, ffffolks!


;)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

New Year's Wishes...!

This one is NOT for the "customer base" - nor does it come from them!
This one is NOT from the colleagues either - nor is it for them!
This one is for TRUE FRIENDS - VERDADEIROS AMIGOS!
They might be colleagues too, sure, absolutely - but they are, ironically enough, found in greater numbers ONLINE, amongst those contacts that one has never MET in person, but one has always held in high esteem. And it is reciprocal! And never, NEVER were any sour bits exchanged; only sincere, heartfelt gems of goodness.

As sincere as can be, on this earth, at this time...


And yes - the following comes from one of those online contacts of many years and is not of my own penmanship; although it could have just as easily have been indeed...




2010 está chegando...


Assunto: 2010 está chegando...
Enviada: 30/12/2009 11:04


AMIGOS,

Este texto não é de minha autoria, mas tomei a liberdade de repassá-lo, já que concordei com cada vírgula, com cada palavra nele escrita... e é com a melhor das intenções que desejo a cada um de vocês um

2010 DEZ!!!!!!!

"Dentro de alguns dias estaremos no último dia do ano de 2009... 
E depois da meia-noite, virá o Ano-Novo...
O engraçado é que ,"teoricamente", continua tudo igual... 
Ainda seremos os mesmos.
Ainda teremos os mesmos amigos, alguns o mesmo emprego, o mesmo parceiro, as mesmas dívidas (emocionais e/ou financeiras).
Ainda seremos fruto das escolhas que fizemos durante a vida.
Ainda seremos as mesmas pessoas que fomos este ano...
A diferença, a sutil diferença, é que quando o relógio nos avisar de que é meia noite, do dia 31 de dezembro de 2009, teremos uma ano in-tei-ri-nho pela frente!
Um ano novinho em folha! 
Como uma página de papel em branco, 
esperando pelo que iremos escrever.
Um ano para começarmos o que ainda não tivemos força de vontade, coragem ou fé...
Um ano para perdoarmos um erro, 
um ano para sermos perdoados dos nossos...
365 dias para fazermos aquilo que quisermos...
Sempre há uma escolha e exatamente por isso, 
eu desejo que você faça a melhor escolha que puder.
Desejo que sorria o máximo que puder.
Cante aquilo que quiser.
Beije muito.
Ame mais.
Abrace bem apertado.
Durma com os anjos. Seja protegido por eles.
Agradeça por estar vivo e ter sempre mais uma chance para recomeçar.
Agradeça às suas escolhas, pois certas ou não, 
elas são suas. E ninguém pode ou deve questioná-las.
E eu gostaria de agradecer aos amigos que tenho.
Aos que me 'acompanham' desde muito tempo.
Aos que eu fiz este ano.
Aos que eu escrevo pouco, mas lembro muito.
Aos que eu escrevo muito e falo pouco.
Aos que moram longe e não vejo tanto quanto gostaria.
Aos que moram perto e eu vejo sempre.
Aos que me 'seguram', quando penso que vou cair.
Aos que eu dou a mão, quando me pedem 
ou quando me parecem um pouco perdidos.
Aos que ganham e aos que perdem.
Aos que riem e choram. 
Aos que me parecem fortes 
e aos que são.
Obrigado por fazer parte da minha história.
Espero que 2010 seja um ano bem mais feliz, 
amoroso e próspero!
Felicidades e Sucesso na vida pessoal e profissional, 
que 2010 seja intenso e com grandes conquistas para você 
e que estejamos sempre juntos, 
nem que seja virtualmente.. .."


+++