Shoppers' Addiction

... and what of the shoplifters' condition then - huh? 

Kleptomania - right. 

The SHOPPER'S plight is far graver 

--- SHOPAHOLICS R US, eh --- 

for it simply CANNOT BE CURED  

...EVER. 

The evidence: 

HA... that'll NEVER work...!!! 

That may be the trigger, for some: divorce, hoarding habit 

--- bang, shopping addiction with that! 

But not everyone needed a trigger event; 

some are natural born hoarders and shopaholics too!!! 

Case in point: 

Twice-cursed, eh... 

like that comic-booky character who was a vampire 

AND a werewolf too, on a full moon...!!! 

SAD... 

FORGET IT, SUGARMAMMA - see you on aisle 5! 

... like YOU, of all peeps, would have a clue!!! 

No kidding...!!! 

Just look at the Shopping/Journal Queen here 

maximize ALL of her credit cards - 

just as she super-sizes too. 

Sorry. 

That was uncalled for - I know. 

Couldn't be helped... 

It is... like... too obvious, see? 

OK - I'll shut up. 

Let's wrap this up with some evidence, then, 

(observations, really...) 

from my most recent shopping spree... 

(still - hey - I didn't buy all of that!)

(In fact... I bought none of it; 

pictures are enough... for me!) 

Hey - look who they brought back: 

the 7Up cartoon-mascot... and Michael, for Pepsi! 

Hoping that'll catch on fire again... hmm?

Oh yeah... everything is SPEED-orientated now... 

oh yeah... 

everything! 

SPEED DIAL --- hell, we don't even remember 

our own phone numbers anymore! 

We don't bother memorizing ANY OF THEM --- 

because it's all on SPEED DIAL!!! 

EVERYTHING... IS AUTOMATIC! 

... where have I heard that before, again? 

Oh... right. 

1997... Twenty years ago. 

I feel like a Musketeer... 

Anyway...

What is Luke so angry about? 

Heck... what is Leia so HAPPY about? 

She really did do drugs while filming the original trilogy... 

WHO ARE THESE LITTLE PEOPLE?!? 

And these sure aren't your daddy"s Hot Wheels... anymore!

But never mind all that... 

HEY - whaddaya know... MAGAZINES still EXIST...!!! 

(more on that on that other blog of mine...!) 

oops... spoke too soon!!!

... and spoke too soon again (?!?) 

Back to collectibles then...

But now this... is an outrage. Blasphemy. Heresy! 

Mixing these three elements together... UGH!!! 

Habs must have heard about the upcoming AQUAMAN film - 

and they want their piece of the pie alright! 

Not gonna happen - habs-nuts! 

Aquaman - and, alas, Batman... and even Black Widow (what the hell is she doing there) 

have nothing in common with that hirsute agent orange you call... Youppi. 

(A yuppy... hippie? Whatever... gone rogue - obviously!) 

And that cup there... that ashtray, really... along with that logo of yours... 

it is all beneath the King of the Seven Seas!!! 

Agghhhh --- that juxtaposition just irks me to the utmost!!! 

And it irritates the Sea King too - you can bet on it... hhhhabs!!! 

Let's just move on here - before we lose control and trash the place! 

Off to... Swarovsky! 

Marilyn... at Niagara Falls... 

to sell Mont Blanc. 

Makes sense. 

But Marilyn is dead - Christine is not! 

... this one any relation to Lord Brett Sinclair...?

You can tell we moved on to another... 

category of store - eh? 

One that allows us to photograph the merchandise 

-for reviewing purposes such as this- 

as we please and see fit! 

And here are the two coolest characters of the whole bunch: 

... those who never make it onto the cover, though. 

Maybe the back cover - one of them - sometimes! 

Anyhow... 

Would you believe some would gift the above 

DC coloring books 

inside a Marvel bag 

(featuring their sad version of the 

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse!) 

like this: 

Yikes!

Hmm... but all this to say... to ask, really... 
is it shoppers' addiction -  
or collectors' obsession?!? 

Toying Around Too

When you're going OUT 

- OF BUSINESS, YEAH - 

merchandising properly 

and efficiently 

suddenly becomes... obsolete. 

Case in point: TARGET... CANADA! 

 ... et comme dirait l'autre... 

''putain, ça penche; on voit le vide au travers des tablettes!'' 

(felizemente, ficamos longe das roupas e outras coisas desto tipo!) 

WE HAVE SEEN ENOUGH - 

let's check out the toys section 

-namely: the action figures- 

(for the most part!) 

ONE FINAL TIME... 

Aw... Lagoona's soulful green eyes 

remind me so much of... 

er... never mind!

Huh... Who's the queer here?!? 

(never mind - again?)

SLOMAN... figures.

er... no comment.

He laid waste to all those 

damned radioactive half-shelled misbegotten turds...  

... pick one out of five there... 

Stooper-mann! 

 (should have been Aquaman - but anyway...)

A-ha! A hero for our times... at last! 

what - sounds much better than... 

... well anyway... 

Alrrrrright - I guess: we got Wolvie in two formats: 

unrealistic and cartoony! 

I'll take the latter... just kidding. Neither for me! 

After Hot Wheels... what else we got that is a true 

anachronism for our times... hmm? 

LEGO BATMAN! 

(No wonder it wasn't exactly flying off the shelves, Target!) 

The thing is... Lego does have some stiff competition 

which have their own licensing deals with DC! 

And it isn't just Playmobil either; 

it's FISHER PRICE too! 

''Imaginext'' 

And let's be frank: Imaginext Batman 

looks better than Lego Batman! 

When will they make the film...?!? 

But let's not give them any ideas...

Not sure who this guy is supposed to be: 

Imaginext's very own Deadpool... Boba Fett... or Deadshot? 

And competing with Fisher-Price's Imaginext DC heroes... 

Hasbro's Playskool Marvel crap! 

''Kit Fisto'' is the coolest spin on the classic alien look 

since ZEN, Intergalactic Ninja! 

but anyway... 

Hmm... What are you so happy about, IM? 

Undeserved huge payouts like Marvel is getting 

can make even a scrap of metal smile - 

or a tree talk, apparently! 

But that's another story... 

(And, luckily enough, Target had no Groot dolls!) 

OH MY GOD... 

They even got the ''always angry'' green BULK 

to flash a green grin now...!!! 

Cappo - you're no captain - yo! 

THIS is a real captain: 

Imaginext's got it ALL...

... even a cool elaborate display, on the Target shelves! 

(Nothing Disney/Hasbro/Playskool/Marvel or Lego had 

came even close!) 

Here he is - Imaginext Batman! 

But LEGO is lurking, not too far behind... 

And Hasbro had another ace up their sleeve...

IMAGINEXT ain't afraid of no BOTS though! 

In many ways, they've got their own...  

... but who in blue blazes is this ''Ion Scorpion'' now?!? 

Whatever! 

Suffice it to say, IMAGINEXT is ready for the next step - 

and they've got quite the plethora of characters to use! 

They can take on aaaaaaall comers! 

... even some other, tired old franchises...!!!

There were plenty of truly odd thingies to collect left there, 

collecting dust, really, on the partly empty shelves...! 

...but if your kids are going to pick up a baseball bat 

just to swing at a pinâta now...

better get your kids to play sports then: 

- lest you find them collecting this, some day: 

"Owen Otterson"...?!?

Or a generic BULL - which is better? 

The answer is obvious, I think... 

no comment! 

Two empires are ready to go at it: 

Lego and Imaginext... Fisher-Price, really... 

each laying claim to Batman, too! 

The war is set - and hostilities have already begun! 

EVEN ELMO WAS STILL AROUND FOR THIS LAST SALE!

I wonder who sold best: the doggy or the kitty? 

FUR REAL...?!? 

SOMETIMES, IT IS BEST NOT TO KNOW AT ALL! 

One last swing -or swim- through the pre-school stuff... 

Fisher-Price's domain - once again! 

A MERMAID MUTT... really, Nickelodeon?!? 

better go back to Fisher-Price! 

Vampire Squids or not - 

maybe thy kiddies would benefit more 

from some educational board game... no? 

 And you can't go wrong 

 with the Littlest Mermaid...!