I Know... Those Are The Customers I Loathe!!
(Parody of a song by the equally... ah... challenged - that's the word - Kids In The Hall; they also hung out at the mall and store when they were not stuck in the hall - I bet!!!)
Those are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE
These are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE!
Vandals and shoplifters
They sure don't respect the store
They've come nonetheless since the opening
We'll probably let them come for more...?!?
Those are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE
These are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE!
Retirees who got nothing else to do
And preening teens skipping classes
They keep on pestering you
My God they have got no class!
Those are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE
These are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I ABHOR!
Constant flocks of immigrants
who do not know either of the official languages
Problem is they feel right at home -
our cashiers are all like them!
Those are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE
These are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I DETEST!
The damnable bargain chasers
they think prices are negociable
This damn place is a retail store
Not a damn flea market!
Those are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE
These are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I CAN'T STAND!
Defacers and vagabonds -
all they want is to make a mess
They want our store to resemble their pigsty so much
that they stay from noon until six!
Those are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE
These are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE!
Those are the customers he knows, he knows
These are the customers HE LOATHES
These are the customers he loathes, he loathes
These are the customers HE LOATHES!
Some of them have cash on them
others simply don't
All of them want things to be dirt cheap
all of them are blasted wretches!
Those are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE
These are the customers I know, I know
These are the customers I LOATHE!
Et les voici
And here they are:
And since we are all in a musical mood - take it away, disgruntled employees numbers 48 through 62...! (This is another instant classic that somehow incorporates Wal-Mart and K-Mart as well!)
Meanwhile on the lowest stage of them all...
Cash flow is flowing at a very slow pace, that is why, you know - everything else has to be *fastly* done and dealt with, but not the cash flow - that has to be SLOW.
And then there is not enough to go around... ugh!
And all that money saved goes to a good cause...
And then - such is their reward
:~/
Nota Bene: well, then - since the days of G.T. seem to be numbered, one will explore, next, the whereabouts of the great seller's bear reportedly extinct circa 1999. And, up next, on the very next post on this very blog, a detailed blow-by-blow account of what exactly transpired in that Triple Threat -no treat- match when Marvelous Wally took on The Big K and É-Coeur-Ant... not in the UFCW but in the ISW - Inter Species Wrestling! A true Canadian organization; hence the presence of the two official languages!
Stay Tuned for that one, ffffolks!
;)
Ohhhhh...
ReplyDeleteDisgruntled Employees number 48 through 62 either got no grudge or no guts left - they took down their nice little video filmed on some dark delirious night when all were sitting around a campfire -drunk- and they spontaneously started singing a song about their former employer, comparing him/it to his/its TOP TWO COMPETITORS...
I recall that the lyrics implied that the former employer was better than one of them but not as big as the other one...
Too bad they took it down - it was a creative effort - and it is not like anyone was going to argue with them about the veracity of those lyrics either...
;-P
It is, also, better to be a "D.E." (Disgruntled Employee) than a "D.C." (disrespectful customer) - any day of the week and most definitely twice on Sunday!
ReplyDeleteIronically enough, of course, we have about a zillion more chances of being or acting like a D.C. than we do to be a D.E. in our lifetime...!
:-!
A "D.E." who doesn't hold a grudge though - that's about a million to one odds: unless said "D.E." pretends to continue to work in that exact same field and therefore needs to keep a good reference... at the very least.
That "D.E." will most likely remain a "retail detail" then - but that is another story...
;-P